Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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