remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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