that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
