The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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