You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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