Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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