Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
