we have officially lost it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
