I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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