but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
