while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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