Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.