Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize