dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
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well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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