Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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