my mouth tastes like poor choices
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
