y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize