This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize