Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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