My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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