pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
