My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
His hands were made for my vagina.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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