if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
