Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
