I cockslap morals
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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