Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
