I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ttyl tear gas
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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