Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
try to milk me bitch
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