If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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