just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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