i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
