should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving