what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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