i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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