Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
