dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i will never coherently bang her
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
