I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
