tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
