Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
