Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
