Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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