you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
