hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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