Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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