So drunk its hurt
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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