Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
