Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
