So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
