I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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