goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I could fuck to npr.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize