I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
