new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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