I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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