Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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